Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Snuggie's #1 Fan



I am no longer a Snuggie cynic ("Wow, you look like a stupid Jedi master in that blanket") - no, this thing is toasty! In fact I am rocking the Snuggie as we speak - it was a Christmas gag gift from my sister Abby. I'm willing to look silly for the sake of staying cozy.

Monday, December 29, 2008

You'll shoot your eye out, kid



Adam is taking me to the shooting range today. I'm simultaneously terrified and excited. Wish me luck!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Slumdog



Slumdog Millionaire was excellent. I loved it.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Happy Birthday Jesus!

To get into the Christmas spirit, I was going to embed the video of Hugh Grant dancing to "Jump" in Love Actually. But, unfortunately, I was unable to. So, if you have not seen the movie, go here. If you weren't merry before, I guarantee you will be after you click.

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A case of writer's block



For his Christmas gift this year, my dad has asked for only one thing: a letter. That's pretty simple, right? Not for me. On several occasions I've sat down at my computer to begin...and I just can't seem to find the right words. Not because I don't have wonderful things to say about my father but because I'm completely overwhelmed by all of the wonderful things I could say.

I have an incredible father. He's always been there for me when I need to talk. He's always reminded me that he loves me. He's always advocated open-mindedness in dealing with people and situations. He has stood behind me every step of the way in my struggle with juvenile diabetes. I mean, the man rode his bicycle across the United States to raise money for the illness! And there's so so so much more than that.

How can you possibly put into words how grateful you are to a parent for raising you to become a happy, well-rounded person?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Congratulations, Soldier of the Cycle

So, I have been putting off writing about my Georgia trip because...no matter how I phrase it, it inevitably sounds cheesy and lovey dovey. It was an incredible weekend that I want to share but I'll cut the real cheese "You complete me" kind of lines.

The trip got off to a pretty rough start. On Wednesday Dad, Sarah and I didn't leave Cincinnati until six in the evening (my Chem final in Columbus caused the delay) so we reached Atlanta, exhausted, around two in the morning. And a mere four and a half hours later, we were waking up to drive to Adam's 10 AM graduation at Fort Benning.

After carefully maneuvering around busy traffic and nearly hydroplaning in the schizo Georgia weather, we arrived on the base. The graduation ceremony had been moved indoors due to the torrential downpour - although, by the time the ceremony had started, blue skies and sunshine were peering out from behind the thick clouds.

Walking in the packed gymnasium, I saw over 200 uniformed young men standing perfectly still, facing the audience. I searched the sea of completely stoic faces only to find Adam standing apart from the other men, front and center. Tissues damnit, I thought to myself as a half sob, half ecstatic laugh escaped my throat.



We soon learned that the reason Adam stood apart from the other graduating men was for his recognition as Soldier of the Cycle. From what I could piece together (because Mr. Modesty didn't provide much of an explanation!), the award is given to the soldier with the best score on a board which tests overall Army knowledge, and who also receives the best PT score, best marksmanship score, etc.

I was beaming with pride as he received his honor - it made the whole eight hour drive through the night on no sleep entirely worth it. More than worth it. You know the person you love is special already but it feels good for others to recognize that, too. Facing all of the men, the Soldier of the Cycle recites the Soldier's Creed line by line for the other men to repeat back to him. Reverberating throughout the room, the cadence sounded so impressive:

I am an American Soldier.
I am a Warrior and a member of a team. I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values.
I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defeat.
I will never quit.
I will never leave a fallen comrade.
I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.
I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.
I am an expert and I am a professional.
I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.
I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.
I am an American Soldier.




When the soldiers could finally greet their friends and families, I was unsure how I should approach Adam - the soldier version of him. I didn't want to embarrass him or break his tough facade but I wanted more than anything to push passed everyone and jump into his arms. He was surrounded on all sides by people wishing to congratulate him...so I settled on wrapping my arms around his midsection and squeezing the life out of him.

As I stood beside Adam shaking hands, a woman came to face me, asking, "Girlfriend or wife?" I laughed for a second, taken aback - of course no one has ever mistaken me for a wife before. "Girlfriend," I replied. "Well, I hope you become an Army wife someday," she said, embracing me. Again I just laughed, too surprised to respond.

For the rest of the day, Adam was free. We spent the better half of the afternoon in the nearby shopping mall - which was teeming with newly graduated soldiers and their families. Even if we were simply walking through the bookstore, sitting in the Food Court or checking my Chemistry grade (A!) on a Verizon store cellphone, it was an amazing perfect day. Because for the first time in two and a half months, I could kiss the person I love whenever I wanted to.



I pick Adam up from the airport in Columbus on Friday!! Then we get to spend his two week leave together. YAY! I can't wait!

Happy Holidays everyone!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

To be continued...



I'm home from Georgia! Let me just say, I had the greatest weekend ever. Dad, Sarah and I spent Thursday at Fort Benning for Adam's graduation from Army Basic Training. Then, we visited my sister Abby in Atlanta to celebrate her 30th birthday.

However, I'm exhausted from the long drive so I'll have to put writing about the trip on hold. I'll write more soon!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Ray LaMontagne's "Be Here Now"



Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

-Ray LaMontagne, "Be Here Now"

I am in love with this song and this man's voice. Check him out.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

I'm a tripping hazard



Dear Santa,

On Thursday night, I landed right on my butt in the middle of a crowded cafeteria. And today, I proceeded to bite it again in the treacherous snow. Fortunately, there were fewer audience members this time.

For Christmas this year, I would greatly appreciate a pair of snow boots with the best level of traction available. I would like to walk to class with some peace of mind. Not fearing a concussion or a broken tailbone with each step. Merry Christmas!

Love,
Emily

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I don't want to be Dwight Shrute

I wish I could be happy with B's. I'm quite ridiculous in my desire to attain straight-A's. And right now, it feels like an illness. I just spent a solid six hours with my nose buried in my Math and Chemistry text books.

With Finals week quickly approaching, my thought process reads a little something like this:

Oh-my-God-if-I-don't-get-good-grades-on-my-Final-exams-then-I-won't-get-straight-A's-in-all-of-my-classes-this-quarter-I-won't-be-accepted-into-the-Nursing-Program-my-essays-can't-save-me-and-I'll-be-so-fucked-I-will-have-to-switch-majors-I-don't-want-to-be-a-Dental-Hygienist-I-will-never-get-my-Bachelor-of-Science-in-Nursing-degree-Everyone-will-think-I'm-a-big-failure-I-won't-get-into-my-ideal-Graduate-School-on-the-East-coast-to-receive-my-Doctor-of-Nursing-Practice-I-won't-be-able-to-travel-to-different-countries-to-work-as-a-nurse-and-help-people-like-I've-always-wanted-to-I'm-so-screwed-I-won't-be-happy-doing-anything-else-I'll-end-up-working-in-a-cubicle-from-nine-to-five-I'll-be-Dwight-Shrute-Holy-Fuck
.

Told you I'm ridiculous.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Nursing Adviser Arrested

A few weeks ago, one of the advisers for the School of Nursing, Chris Johnson, came to our Nursing survey class to speak to us about acceptance into the program. He seemed like a pretty normal guy when I'd met him at orientation in June and again when he spoke to our class.

Recently, however, he was arrested for running a raffle in which a prostitute was the prize. The story is so bizarre! I can't get over the weirdness. And I can't help but feel sorry for my own Nursing adviser who is now the only adviser for the entire program. I hope this doesn't get too ugly for the Nursing Program.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Thankful for writing




Writing has always been very therapeutic to me. I enjoy writing about things...whether they are happy, sad or insignificant. This blog was started out of a broken heart - to serve as a small haven where I could clear my head by writing. And it has, since then, remained a little place of solace to make some sense of everything around me.

Being separated from the person you love is hard - sometimes it can be pretty damn unbearable. But I have discovered how soothing it is to simply write to him.

After he left for Basic Training, I purchased this thick spiral-bound red notebook specifically for writing letters. In two months, the metal that had held it together has loosened and fallen apart from my overuse. The pages have also begun to dwindle - the front and back covers now seem too large to contain the few pages remaining. So many times I've reached for that red notebook through a haze of tears because I had no where else to turn. Even if I didn't intend to send him some of the things I wrote, it was a relief to almost pretend I was speaking to him. And upon finishing a letter, I'd realize that my sadness had begun to ebb the moment I touched my pen to the paper to write his name. The process of writing to him was so uplifting that, by the closing, I'd find my tears dried and a smile on my face.

This Thanksgiving - after looking back over the hardest year I've yet endured - I gave thanks for the gift of writing ability. It has truly helped preserve my sanity and happiness throughout.

And I hope everyone else had a happy Thanksgiving! Happy December (almost)!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Happy Two Year Anniversary



A very very very happy day.

Today just goes to show: if ever you lose faith that you'll never climb out from rock bottom, look to the future. Eventually, you will find the strength to get your ass out of there and you'll find happiness at the top.

I'm so unbelievably happy right now. I have so much to look forward to... Mashing potatoes with Mom while she listens to Frank Sinatra in the kitchen. Watching football with Dad and Seth. Continuing the Viall sister tradition of wearing pajamas to the dinner table on Thanksgiving. Sitting by the fireside, talking to my family and the friends we consider family. Reuniting with all of my friends. And, most of all, being with Adam two and a half weeks from today!!!!

I'm a lucky girl to have so much love in my life.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Mirror Lake Jump 2008

Tomorrow night is the Mirror Lake Jump for Beat Michigan Week. Here's last year's:

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

"Cocina Sabrosa"

An e-mail from my Uncle Ned on how to cook his famous dish:

"Here's how I cook it: I start out sauteeing the onions, and when they're just getting brown, I add the garlic and mushrooms (and if you can find mushrooms with a lot of flavor, like shiitake, it's worth the extra bucks). The garlic and mushrooms get brown quickly, then I add tomatoes, broccoli and zucchini (I just cut up the tomatoes into small chunks and let them kind of boil down into sauce). When everything else is ready, I throw in the marinated artichoke hearts just to heat them up -- they lose their flavor quickly if you cook them. I cook the sausage separately (cut it up into small pieces and sautee it or broil it) and add it with the art hearts, cook the pasta (al dente -- just past rubbery) and then mix it all together."

Uhh, sounds easy for a beginner cook with experience only in pouring cereal and making grilled cheese.

As part of Adam's Christmas gift, I want to surprise him by cooking a romantic (and edible) dinner. And Uncle Ned's pasta dish - or, as we like to call it "cocina sabrosa" - came to mind as the perfect meal Adam and I could share together.

I'm going to give it a trial run - with my mother close at hand, prepared with a fire extinguisher - just to see how badly I screw it up. Then, hopefully, it will be perfect by the time Adam gets home for Christmas!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Ice skating upside down...or just backward



Since I've already completed my Biology prerequisite for Nursing (thanks to a certain high school Biology teacher), I had an opening in my Winter Quarter schedule that needed to be filled. So what did I decide to fill it with? Skating 101.

Yup, I'll get credit for ice skating once a week. I was sold on the class once I read the description which stated that I would learn to skate backward. I have always wanted to do that!

Chances are good that I will bruise my tailbone at least twice.

Friday, November 14, 2008

The Narcoleptic Dog

Happy World Diabetes Day!

The focus of this post, however, is not diabetes. It's narcolepsy - because that's a lot funnier.

Meet the narcoleptic dog:



You're going to laugh really hard...which will be followed by a great deal of guilt.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A month to go

Happy Veteran's Day, Dad!



Indeed it has been a very happy Veteran's Day for me...because, one month from today, I will be with Adam as he graduates from Basic Training.

God, I can't wait to be with him again. Forty-nine days down...only thirty more to go!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

One Sentence

This website encourages you to tell your story - life story, an insignificant story, anything - in one sentence.

A favorite submission:

"When the one-armed Amishman sitting next to me started talking about condoms, I knew it was going to be an interesting train ride."

And one of my own submissions:

"Looking at the picture of my grandfather, I was finally able to blame someone for my double cowlicks."

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Dumbledore '08

The reason I voted for Obama...

He reminded me of this guy.



That's right - Albus Dumbledore. A Gryffindor, the renowned Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the founder of the Order of the Phoenix, defeater of the dark wizard Grindelwald. You've probably heard of him.

As all of the election madness was taking place, I was in the midst of re-reading my favorite book in the Harry Potter series. That's probably why I started to see (or maybe I should say create) parallels between Obama and Dumbledore...

When the evil Lord Voldemort returned, Dumbledore did not try to cover up the truth - he wanted to take bold and immediate action. He never lied to Harry or the rest of the Wizarding world in saying that it would be easy to defeat Voldemort. He knew how difficult and dangerous the task would be yet remained brave and willing to fight. Because he had a vision of a better world. And his courage was contagious, inspiring many wizards and witches to rise up to challenge the Death Eaters. And ultimately, after undertaking great challenges and failing more often than he succeeded, he enabled Harry to carry out the restoration of peace to the magical world.

Above all, however, Dumbledore's most admirable quality was his tolerance of and willingness to cooperate with all magical creatures - even the misunderstood giants and detested "half-breeds."

It all seems quite ridiculous when I say it aloud (this is what happens when you let your imagination run away from you.)

While I do not have full unyielding faith in President Obama as of yet, I feel some degree of comfort in recognizing his loose similarities to the greatest wizard to ever live...in my head.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

O-H-I-O!



An analyst on CNN reported that Hamilton County helped Obama win Ohio.

I feel like my vote counted big time!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Someone you might know someday

In Psych class, I sit near a noticeably older man - probably in his mid to late twenties. He has a booming voice and a buzzed, military-style hair cut. Immediately, I pegged him as a former soldier - perhaps a military man attending college on the GI Bill.

During one of our classes I noticed that he had asked several questions about the discussion topic - child development. Later, I figured out why he'd been so curious - I overheard him sharing an animated story with our teacher about his own young daughter. And telling from his myriad of questions and ear-to-ear smile, I pictured this to be his first.

I wondered if I might be seeing a small glimpse of Adam in the future - in my future. Then I worried that it was nothing more than seeing a stranger...just some person I'll never know.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Perfect blood sugar

This morning, after spending a ridiculous night on the Ohio University campus, my blood sugar was 98! Yay! I rock.

I then proceeded to stuff my face with a large breakfast from the Big Silver Diner. Which shot me up to 269. Damn.

Oh well, I'm still a beast for that 98!

(By the way, 70-120 is considered a good blood sugar.)

Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween is truly evil

It's Halloween weekend! As excited as I am to celebrate - I've concluded that there is no other holiday or event that sets a diabetic up to fail so miserably. At least, a diabetic college freshman like me. Offerings of beer and candy are rampant! And, even more cruel, tomorrow is the beginning of National Diabetes Month.

So after we drink and eat ourselves into a coma tonight - and our blood sugar can't decide whether to go up from the candy or down from the alcohol - we get to wake up to celebrate healthy diabetes awareness! Woo-hoo.

Oh well, I'm still looking forward to this weekend! I'll try to be good. Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Inspired...



In Chemistry class a few weeks ago, I met a Business major turned pre-Nursing student - a switch in career path that you don't see very often, if ever. When I asked why he had completely flipped his choice of major, he told me his story:

Less than a year ago, his fiance was hit by a drunk drag racer - leaving her in a coma and on life support for several months. Since the accident, he (above) has taken care of her in every way - helping her to overcome severe brain trauma and to rebuild her damaged body. He took off a quarter from school to be with her at all times - and when he came back, he had a completely new plan. "I learned so much taking care of her...I decided to become a nurse instead," he told me.

In the Facebook group dedicated to his fiance, he writes, "I'm beginning nursing school at OSU because of the care and compassion of the nursing staff at Mt Carmel Neuro ICU. I hope to build my career and give the same care and compassion to those who need it."

For a long time, my mind has been made up that nursing is what I want to do. The more I learn about and interact with people in the health field, the less I can picture myself doing anything else in the future. I'm inspired by people like my friend and his fiance, by the cancer patients I smile at every Friday morning in the medical center, by the many nurses who work on the Endocrinology floor at Children's Hospital in Cincinnati.

I'm excited to see everything that lies ahead of me in nursing.

Monday, October 27, 2008

I'm the happiest person on Earth

December 10: Complete final exam at 3:18 PM, immediately get in the car with Sarah to drive to Cincinnati, pick up Dad, drive straight to Abby's in Atlanta

December 11: Drive from Atlanta to Fort Benning for Adam's graduation from Basic Training!!!!!!!!

December 12-14: Hang out in Atlanta to celebrate Abby's 30th birthday!

December 17: Adam is home for two weeks!!!!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Love letters are not dead

Writing letters has it's virtues - it allows you to be far more eloquent and heartfelt (which is nice in an age where the term "love letter" is almost dead). Plus, I'm much better at articulating my feelings through writing than I am through speaking - in a letter, I don't feel as vulnerable to say outright, "I'm so in love with you."

However, when you're accustomed to a fast-paced world in which Facebook satisfies your every whim to communicate instantly with friends far and wide, snail mail is incredibly frustrating.

Which is why it felt so good to speak to Adam on the phone today! Phone calls from him are quite sporadic but I can usually count on receiving one once a week. They're very short - about a five minute maximum - but today we got the chance to speak for over 13 minutes. Unfortunately, the time always seems to slips right through my fingers. But I should be receiving another letter in my mailbox tomorrow!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Has a song ever spoken to you?

You're listening when, all of a sudden, you realize holy shit...this artist has transformed my exact thoughts at this moment into beautiful music.
_________________________________________

A blue, black shade of love
Sent from above
My hands are tied to worlds unknown,
And this I know
Your breath's like wine,
And just like clouds, my skin crawls
It's so divine, the sky it glows with fields of light

Did you know that I love you?
Come and lay with me
I love you
And all this day, I will love you
You make me feel alive,
and I'll love you
Until the end of time

My hands shake clasped with fear as you come near
To say goodnight, just like a dove
A peaceful sign
To help us by as you come in
Let this begin
Stars fall like dust, our lips will touch
We speak too much

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Harvest Moon



On the drive back from Cincinnati tonight, I saw an enormous harvest moon for the first time. It was beautiful - and kinda freaky.

Chemo

I'm amazed at the warmth in the smile of the man who says to me, "Hello I'm here for chemo."

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

From my sister Abby

Even some of my closest friends have been totally surprised to discover that I have two more older siblings. The reason being that my half-brother and half-sister are more than a decade older than me - Seth is 28, Abby is almost 30 - and they lived with us only for brief periods of time when I was very young.

Moreover, Abby and Seth had radically (quite literally) different adolescences that my sister Sarah and I could never relate to.
Both of them suffered an array of behavioral and mental problems after witnessing a messy divorce between my father and their mother. So, as a result of much of this, we never became very close.

It was never "my sister Abby," it was always "my
half-sister Abby."

As I've gotten older, however, that has begun to change. I've been able to connect much more with Abby and Seth in recent years. After I got my tattoo, Abby called to commend me and, since then, we've been e-mailing a couple times a week - which is probably the most we've ever communicated in my entire life. In those e-mails, I've learned so much more about my sister - her thoughts and experiences at the CDC, her advice on college, how my relationship with Adam mirrors her relationship with her husband, etc.

In all, we have come a long way as a family.

This is a recent e-mail I received from Abby that meant a lot to me...

"Okay, this was going to be longer......but I just wrote something nice and long, and then hit the friggin delete key by accident. So you get the abbreviated version now--argh!

Anyway, having just spent about 20 minutes listening to one of my favorite--albeit often gloomy and awesomely sarcastic (I appreciate dry wit--as it's the kind I favor myself!)--co-workers bemoan her possiblilty of being diagnosed with celiac disease, I had ample time (in the private of my head, that is) to marvel at your own comparatively stalwart reaction to diabetes. This woman was certain that being so diagnosed at age 32 was a tragedy, a tragedy! And I'll admit, I had to sympathize--no bakery goods would be hell for me! But she was so morose and pessimistic--so absolutely without hope or resilience--that it put my experience with you in better perspective. I've often heard Dad marvel that you don't bitch about your diabetes, but it takes listening to the bitching of someone with a similiar, life-long chronic condition to underscore how admirable your strength really is."

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Halle Berry cured diabetes!

Amazing!

Was she among the thousands of scientists creating an artificial pancreas? Maybe she was one of the researchers manipulating stem cells to form pancreatic beta cells? Or, perhaps, she helped design a drug that utilizes a virus to intentionally infect cells with DNA to carry on insulin production?

Oh, no...her miracle cure is far simpler than any of that: all you have to do is "ween" yourself off of insulin! According to Halle, in this manner, an insulin-dependent diabetic (type 1) can magically transform into a non-insulin-dependent diabetic (type 2).

Holy shit! Why didn't anyone tell me about this before? The doctors said the insulin-producing cells in my pancreas were dead...but, if I follow Halle's expert advice, I can now bring them back to life! And it's as easy as taking less insulin - that useless glucose-absorbing hormone which I don't truly need.

Halle, you may be more attractive than Wilford Brimley, but you're an extremely poor spokeswoman for diabetes - both type 1 or type 2. Please educate yourself.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Bionic Woman

At every three-month endocrinology appointment, my doctor routinely asks if I have considered returning to insulin pump therapy. And I always politely say no.

I remain strongly anti-pump for a couple of reasons:

When I was on the insulin pump two years ago, it just did not work for me. For many people, it helps to improve diabetes control - but I didn't improve at all. Plus, the pump was a bigger hassle than it was worth - door knobs ripping out the tubing, scar tissue build up, allotting an hour of time to numb the injection site, irritating alarms beeping at three AM, disconnecting when showering, etc.

But, by far, my biggest turn off is how terribly conspicuous the insulin pump is. Illustrated by this picture of the continuous glucose monitoring system (the latest "improvement" in pump technology):



The smaller sensor checks your blood sugar every few minutes and relays the information to the pump, which responds accordingly - increasing or decreasing insulin.

It would be cool to, essentially, have an external pancreas that does most of the work for me...but I maintain that I will not go back on the insulin pump while it makes me look and feel like freakin' Bionic Woman.

One day, when the technology is perfected and the device is so discreet that only I can possibly know about it...I would love a sweet bionic pancreas.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

"I love your MiniMed in purple!"

I love having a bonding experience with a random stranger when I see that they're wearing an insulin pump.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Treadmill Nazis



At my new gym, I have to beware of Treadmill Nazis. They like to peer over your shoulder to see whether or not you're obeying the 30-minute time limit. You better...or else!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Don't Pass Out

It's very rare that I have a day where I truly hate having diabetes. Yeah, it sucks but it's a waste of energy to spend time hating it. However, during my Psychology class yesterday...I really really fucking hated my diabetes.

While my teacher was lecturing, I noticed my hand was shaking a little as I was writing. I hadn't felt it yet but I knew immediately it was a sign my blood sugar was dropping. That's when a mental image of Frosted Flakes popped into my head. Fuck. I suddenly remembered that, in my rush that morning, I had taken five units of insulin but I had forgotten to eat the bowl of cereal. As my worry sunk in, I gradually felt the low blood sugar sinking in, as well. My next thought went to my blood sugar meter...which I had left in my room. Along with my glucose tabs. And my emergency glucagon shot. Double fuck. My wrist was also bare...I had forgotten to wear my medical identification bracelet.

Then I did something incredibly stupid: I just sat there...trying as hard as I could to ignore my low BG. The very last thing I wanted to do was to stand up and call attention to myself in front of 60+ strangers. So I sat silently for over ten minutes, shaking and feeling everything drain out of me (it kind of feels like running 10 miles without having eaten all day). Don't pass out don't pass out, I repeated over and over in my head.

But the panic rising in my chest finally compelled me to ask for help. Reaching my teacher's desk, I asked stupidly, "Is there a vending machine around here?" When she began to explain, however, I blurted out, "I don't have any money." I felt terribly aware of how helpless I was when I admitted at last, "I have a low blood sugar." And with that, tears suddenly began pooling in my eyes. I didn't know this woman I was crying in front of and I didn't know a soul in the entire class...which only intensified my embarrassment and panic.

Pausing the lecture, my teacher led me toward the exit but not before I had to turn to face the entire lecture room, filled with people staring at me curiously. Quickly, my teacher flagged down a Coke and, glancing at my wobbly knees, directed me to sit on a bench in the hallway (Thank God she wasn't one of the people who tries to offer me a stick of chewing gum). For the next ten minutes I gulped down the entire Coke, impatient for the sugar to enter my bloodstream and for my panic to subside. Fortunately, as my blood sugar began returning to normal, my rational thoughts began to return, as well. Why did I sit there for so long? Why didn't I have any sugar with me in the first place? Wow, I'm an idiot.

It just made me so angry that all of my seemingly little mistakes had brought about this awful situation. If only I'd simply remembered to eat my Frosted Flakes. Or to stick my glucose tabs in my backpack. Ugh...I'm not going to let that happen again.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Have you registered?



I appreciate their efforts...but, unfortunately, being followed by voter registration people on my way to and from classes has become a daily occurrence.

I just don't have the heart to shout, "Yes I am registered and I am voting for Obama! Now, leave me alone, I'm late to Chemistry!"

Monday, September 29, 2008

Oh Shit



If my blood sugar meter could speak, that is what it would say. Because, lately, my blood sugars have been pretty terrible. I'm either waking up three times in the middle of the night from a low BG (blood glucose) to chug apple juice or I'm taking a million units of insulin to correct for a high BG.

The good thing, however, is that I'm constantly surrounded by people who are looking out for my safety. Everyone is well aware of my diabetes. At Andy's party on Friday, upon noticing that I'd forgotten to wear my medical identification bracelet, Will took a Sharpie to scrawl "I have diabetes type 1" across my forearm. And at a party on Saturday night, my diabetic friend Brandon tested my blood sugar for me, retrieving my glucose tabs to make sure my BG didn't drop.

Well, aside from the poor blood sugars, I really love college. I'm having such a great time...I love everything so far. However, that might change as my homework load increases...which it most certainly will by the end of the week!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Good day

Adam called from Georgia today! I was so incredibly happy to talk to him and to hear that I have two letters to look forward to already.

I wrote this post a week ago but, for some reason, I didn't want to publish it. But I miss Adam a lot and it makes me happy to read...

Yesterday Adam and I spent our last full day and night together. In the afternoon we decided to take the dog with us on a picnic in Sharon Woods. We drove to our usual secluded spot where Sadie could run around and play. There the three of us ate and took a short nap until we were chased away by several annoying bees.

"I need to get an address book," Adam said, glancing at me from the corner of his eyes as we drove out of the park. I just nodded my head. At Wal-Mart while we searched for the address book, we hardly said a word to each other.

The air between us started to feel tense as the heavy realization of the end settled in. We started fighting and eventually I stormed out onto the porch. As I sat fuming, I watched two little kids across the street play in the front yard...and observing the simplicity of their childhood happiness calmed me. I wish I was still completely oblivious and happy about everything all the time, I thought. A few minutes later, Adam stuck his head out the door..."Baby, come back inside," he smiled. I glared at him as I walked back into the house but I squeezed his hand three times, our silent "I love you." It's so simple, it's ridiculous.

I was still angry...but that was until we started watching a Man vs. Wild episode in which Bear Grylls' face swells to the size of a watermelon after he gets stung by a bee. After we'd laughed at Bear's idiotic attempt to kill a deadly snake through half-opened eyes, things had returned to normal. That evening we watched the rest of the Man vs. Wild marathon while preparing our last dinner together. Our delicious meal consisted of some of our favorite foods: crispy Ore Ida french fries for appetizers, classic Mac n Cheese for the main course, and a huge bowl of Lucky Charms for dessert. Yumm.







Around midnight, we took a blanket outside to gaze at the lights and the stars. We talked about what we would do and where we would live if we got married ten years from now. He wants to travel across Australia where we can raise our kids like the Wild Thornberries. I want to live in a house surrounded by acres and acres of land where the seasons change and every year before Christmas, we can chop down our own tree. And I warned him that we were going to have a big family because I've always wanted one. He agreed as long as we can create our own Little League team.

When we got back to his house, the both of us tried as hard as we could to stay awake but I gradually fell asleep in his arms. It was a good day.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Ice Spiders




This picture is awesome.

I should be reading for Psychology but I keep clicking on Stumble...where I come across random things like this picture. Plus, I don't have class until 11:30 tomorrow! And I'm too excited for jello shots and Ohio State football.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I do not enjoy getting scalded by hot water in the corridor bathroom shower whenever someone on the floor uses the plumbing!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

New Beginning

Since Adam ships out to Basic tomorrow, the Army put him in a hotel in Columbus, which was about 20 minutes away from campus. So my sister let me borrow her car so I could see him one last time today. We had said our goodbyes on Sunday when I moved in but I had to see him again. Very recently, we started using the "love" word again...something we had both avoided doing since he forgave me. It's made this a lot more difficult and complicated. Today we hung out for a few hours, saying our second and final goodbye. The scary part is that this is the strongest we've ever been. We're breaking up...I'm not going to sit around and knit while I'm in college...but I don't know how hard I'm going to try to get over him.

Tomorrow I'm starting classes - Math, Psychology and Chemistry. And going to the first Running Club practice. I'm trying to get involved in as many things as I can - Running Club, Pre-Health Giving Back Club, Intramural soccer, volunteering at the Medical Center, The Meshuganotes, etc. I'm considering joining a sorority but Rush doesn't start until Winter Quarter so I still have time to think seriously about it. I need to jump into a lot of activities to help take my mind off of all the Adam stuff.

Honestly, it's been a rough start because I've had to say goodbye to Adam twice in the past three days. But I know it's going to get better. My roommate Kelly is a sweetheart and we get along really well. Last night Kelly, Nate and I went to a party with my sister and, after about a half hour of feeling like silly freshmen, we met some really cool upperclassmen. I'm looking forward to going to a party at Jessie's house on Friday. I'm still feeling a bit shy and nervous but I'm excited to meet more people and start learning a few things. I'm such a dork...excited about classes!

I've fallen in love with this artist Sia...these two songs calm me so much...



Sunday, September 21, 2008

Today is...

The first day of college.
The last day I'll be with Adam.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Wind Storm Aftermath

Finally! I have power after five days without. A few things I learned/discovered during those dark days:

1. Put your insulin on ice immediately! Or else you're as good as dead. Just kidding. It increases the risk of losing its potency when it warms up. Or something stupid like that.

2. I get a lot more accomplished when I don't have my laptop, cell phone or television to distract me. I purchased every single item I'll need for school (jeans, iPod, hole punch, pillows, etc.), jacked boxes from Costco to pack all of it up, ran a total of 22 miles, gave the dog a bath...very productive.

3. John Steinbeck is one of my favorite authors at this moment. In my abundant amount of spare time this past week, I finished his book East of Eden which I liked much better than Grapes of Wrath.

4. Bread and cheese is a simple and delicious combination. And I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to Diet Coke...I sought it every single day regardless of the distance I had to drive.

5. Although I suck at Risk and Stratego - or any board game involving strategy for that matter - I still have a lot of fun playing. I did manage to beat the Master Nerd of Board Games at least once!

6. I'm glad that I've lived next to train tracks for my entire life because the roar of chainsaws doesn't disturb my slumber at all.

7. Whoever is Up There wanted to apologize by making the past two days so absolutely gorgeous that I didn't even want to be indoors.

I took some pictures of the damage the morning after the storm...although I didn't capture anywhere near all of it (my neighbor had a tree go right through the roof), it's a good visual explanation of why we didn't have power for a week.













Power lines = bungee cords


















One after the other













Pulled the sidewalk out of the ground









I'm glad to have electricity again. I won't have to: lug my laptop and laundry to Adam's house every day, shower in the creepy darkness, go to bed early, live on cookies and donuts and Chinese takeout, or think to myself duh a split second after I flip on a lightswitch.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Move-In Day

Still no power. So I'm stealing Adam's electricity, Internet, milk, ice, and washer and dryer.

No power is making it a pain in the ass to pack for college on Sunday.

But I'm so excited to finally move in!

I have pictures of the wind storm destruction around my neighborhood that I plan to put up later. It's crazy!

Friday, September 12, 2008

I Love Louis



Back in the day, Even Stevens was definitely my favorite Disney channel show. Mostly because Louis Stevens (Shia Labeouf) was the most adorable and lovable screw-up ever! He's still somewhat of a screw-up but not nearly as funny anymore.



Check out this little gem from the Even Stevens Musical episode...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sing your heart out

A while back, Nate and I decided to create a band at college. I sing, he plays guitar/piano/trombone/percussion/whatever. So I've been practicing a couple of songs...


SeeqPod - Playable Search

I'm most excited to sing "Fever" but I have to learn how to snap my fingers.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

It's not 10.0

I did it! My A1C is 8.7!

Sorry, that's diabetic lingo. A1C is short for "Hemoglobin A1C" and, essentially, it determines how well I've taken care of my diabetes in the last three months. Think of it as a grade on a report card. Every three months at my diabetes check up, the nurse takes my blood which is fed into a computer that determines my A1C in the form of a number (it can range between 4 and 14). A healthy non-diabetic would have an A1C around 5...so 5 is great. To be below 7 is considered good for a diabetic...but once that number begins to creep up...you're in real trouble.

I'd been in trouble for the last year or so because my A1C had steadily been getting worse and worse. At my last appointment in June, my A1C was 10.0 (think of it as an F+). Basically, that A1C reflects dangerously poor control of my blood sugars. I'd never reached a number that high before and it scared the shit out of me because if you allow your A1C to remain that high for a long period of time you're at an increased risk to suffer complications.

Nothing like the threat of losing a kidney or a foot to kick your ass into high gear. After that, I tried harder to keep my blood sugars under control although I definitely didn't always do a perfect job. I know 8.7 isn't an ideal A1C but it's a big improvement. It's a C- if you look at in terms of grades. And still I'm so happy that I'm doing better.

I also found these videos that are kind of cool...



This is a PSA to encourage diabetics to check their A1C...



Here is the same PSA reversed...It's so weird, the guy is saying everything backwards! It's hilarious at the end when he has to trip out of the shot.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Fake Fall Day




While I was driving in the car this morning, I put on my Northface jacket, turned on the air conditioning and pretended it was the crisp fall weather I was feeling. That comfortable chill that reminds me of football games on the weekends, apples that have finally come into season, sweaters yanked out of the bottom drawer and Halloween candy appearing in the aisles of grocery stores.

The Week of Hell...er, Growing Up

This is bizarre: trees are changing color from green to orange and leaves are littering the ground...all before I've even started school. Here I am stuck in summer. But I'm not sure whether I'm ready for autumn yet...

Because this is what autumn brings:

September 21 - Move In Day at Ohio State
September 23 - He leaves for Army Basic Training
September 24 - First day of classes

I'll pack up my room, move an hour and a half away from the comfort zone I've spent 18 years carving out and I'll essentially begin a new chapter in life. And I have to accomplish all of this while I say goodbye to the person who is most significant to my overall happiness.

There is no way I'm going to survive The Week of Hell. But it keeps getting closer and closer, just looming there in my future.

On the one hand, I'm extremely excited for college so I guess I shouldn't refer to it as "The Week of Hell." I only wish these life-altering events weren't all taking place within the same four-day span. C'mon, give a girl a break. This is a huge, enormous, gajillion-pound amount of change that I'm probably not old or wise enough to handle. I keep asking myself, "So when did I start growing up?"

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I.A.M.D.I.A.B.E.T.I.C



This video is only hilarious if you've heard the original rap "Independent" by Webbie. And if you've ever had diabetes.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Cure...




My new tattoo!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Addicted to "Weeds"

Recently, Adam got me hooked on the really popular series Weeds on Showtime.



In one day and in almost one sitting, I watched the entire 10-episode first season on my laptop (and suffered a monster headache after I finally peeled my eyes from the tiny computer screen). Now I'm on my second day, about to finish the second season which I rented on DVD (no headache this time, except for the one caused over the $9 I had to dish out at Hollywood Video for the rentals).

So, in conclusion, Weeds has become my new favorite television show...sorry, Office.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Man on Wire



My uncle told me to look up this interesting documentary, Man on Wire. It's about a man who, in 1974, walked on a tight rope between the two towers of the World Trade Center. Crazy.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Sweet jetpack...



1963 Insulin pump vs. 2008 Insulin pump

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

AYUDA

I've been a juvenile diabetic for over three years now. I was about to turn fifteen when I had to spend a week in the hospital learning how to take care of my new disease. Fortunately, my health insurance covered 100% of the hospital bill, which was $40,000 ($10,000 a night). The hospital stay, although incredibly expensive, factored significantly in establishing the system I have for managing my diabetes and maintaining my overall health.

An entire team of endocrinologists, dietitians, diabetes educators, psychologists and nurses educated my parents and me on the facets of managing diabetes, such as counting carbohydrates, injecting insulin, and treating for "lows" and "highs." They also emphasized the importance of tight control of my blood sugars in order to prevent future health complications. And luckily, during routine blood work, my doctor discovered I also had another endocrine disorder, hypothyroidism, for which I was immediately placed on medication.

My health insurance covers the cost of all my daily supplies and medications - short-acting insulin, long-acting insulin, needles, lancets, pens, testing strips, blood sugar meter, Levothyroxine, etc. They also pay for my quarterly appointment with my endocrinologist at which we monitor how well I'm managing my disease and fine tune my treatment plan, if necessary.

And you know what...I take all of this for granted.

Last summer I came across a website for an organization called AYUDA, which stands for American Youth Understanding Diabetes Abroad. The mission of AYUDA is to create programs for diabetics and their families in poor, Latin American countries; places where there is little education on proper diabetes treatment and soaring expenses on necessary medical supplies.

In Latin America, the outlook for a diabetic is much different than in the United States. In most cases, these kids don't get anything near the treatment that I receive. There is no fancy children's hospital with a skilled "Diabetes Team" educating these children and their families on how to properly manage diabetes. There is no doctor's appointment every three months to check on a patient's mental and physical health. And there is certainly no guarantee of being able to pay for medicine and supplies.

AYUDA holds a number of summer camps for diabetic youth in Belize, Bolivia, Bermuda and Ecuador where they try to help and educate children who otherwise might never fully understand or correctly care for their disease. In addition, the organization donates medications and supplies to communities affected by diabetes.

I'm looking into volunteering with AYUDA. Despite the cost (I'd have to raise around $4,000 to pay for the entire trip to one of the camps), this is something I've always had the desire to do. In the future I want to help people who don't have the money for medical expenses or health education that I have. I can't imagine not having my insulin when I need to eat or not having my glucagon when I have a seizure. Or never having learned how to administer a shot in the first place. I'd be dying a lot earlier if that were the case.

In comparison to other diabetics in the world, I've had it incredibly easy. And for that reason I just want to do something, anything for them.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Lauren and Donnie's Wedding



Lauren and Donnie



The beautiful bride, her mother Judy and sister Brooke



Dancing to "Thriller" and getting drunk



Chrissy, Sarah and Ren



The dance floor



The Viall women



Mom and Dad, slow dancing



The Glendale Girls - Sam, Sarah, Lauren (Tez), Danielle, Lauren (Ren), Chrissy, and missing Katie. They have known each other since the days of Glendale Elementary School.



They were steadily becoming more and more wasted at this point. Here they are singing to "Total Eclipse of the Heart"



Hammered



Danielle, Mom and I dancing



Lauren and Dad





Sisters



My cool dad



That's my 59-year-old Dad. Taking a cranberry vodka shot with the 21-year-olds



All our Glendale families - first and second generation Glendale girls