Nostalgic Summer

In the middle of the night--after sneaking in with one member of the "pool posse" and the lifeguards (well, I guess, it's not sneaky if you're with the Head Lifeguard and he has a key) and polishing off half a bottle of cheap, delicious wine in a coffee mug adorned with Henry the Hand (a hand-shaped character who promotes the principles of proper hand-washing through song and whose humiliating mascot costume I was forced to wear as a kid)--I climbed up onto one of the lifeguard chairs and jumped off into the deep end of the pool where, growing up, I spent every day of summer.

Identity Crisis and Citizen Cope

Last night, I reunited with an old old friend from my childhood. Mostly we drove around, laughing our asses off and listening to a shit ton of his different, random music. He informed me that, up north (he's at University of Wisconsin), I'm considered an "Ohio redneck" and a "southern belle." This is news to me! I thought I was simply a Midwestern girl. Now I'm having an identity crisis!

But he also introduced me to a couple of songs by Citizen Cope and immediately I fell in love with the guy's sexy voice...

Daddy's Girl

For some reason, seeing fathers with their children is way cuter to me than seeing mothers with their children.

"Well, keeps life interesting"

I've been meaning to write something on here but this week has been sort of a whirlwind (in a good way). So, here are some random tidbits...

-I just purchased my red scrubs, a purple Classic II S.E. stethoscope, penlight, bandage scissors, clipboard with calculator, reflex hammer, blood pressure cuff, Kelly clamp and EKG calipers for nursing school. I don't even know what the hell those last two items are...but I'm so stoked! Everything is coming together.

-Muscular Dystrophy summer camps nationwide have been canceled due to 11 cases of swine flu in three of the camps. It's really disappointing that I won't get to work there this summer but there's always next year. Really, I'd probably be a million times more disappointed if diabetes summer camp was the one getting canceled.

-I really really like Regina Spektor's new CD, Far. I've listened to "Genius Next Door" ten times already.

-The choir director at our church invited me to sing a solo for an upcoming service. I'm simultaneously terrified and excited. I haven't sung in front of people in over a year. But, if a singer is one of the things I want to be when I grow up, I better start somewhere.

-I love how many different friends I've gotten the chance to hang out with so far this summer. It does, however, make me miss my friends from school.

-Our Chicago road trip plans to visit Katydid are shaping up! Needless to say, it's going to be epic.

-The Resident Home Corporation, where I was planning to work this summer, informed me that they do not have any positions available right now. But they will try to call me when something opens up. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

-Since I'm no longer working at MD camp next week, we're trying to plan a camping trip to Red River Gorge in Kentucky. I can't wait go fishing and hiking and swimming and cabrewing!

-The title of this post comes from a quote from my mom...

"Guess who's coming into town for the week?" I asked her one afternoon earlier this week as we sat at the kitchen table.
"Who?"
I paused, "Adam."
"Well, keeps life interesting," she replied simply.

And I realized that that's all there is to it. Everything that happens to us, whether seemingly bad (like an ex-boyfriend in the military coming into town unexpectedly) or good (like getting drunk off wine in your backyard with some good friends), is keeping us from being bored out of our minds. We're just trying to keep our lives interesting. Otherwise, what's the point?

Dirt and Dress Up

Last night, went off-roading in the Jeep--without the roof--and proceeded to get covered in tidal waves of mud and water.

And today, bought a little black dress to wear to the wedding tomorrow.

Being a girl is awesome.

A Bad Moment in a Good Day

Today I listened as an overweight woman, who has had an enormous stick up her devout ass since before I can remember, yelled at her beautiful, formerly-anorexic niece, whose wedding is this weekend, about losing weight in order to fit into her wedding dress. Makes me sick.

I Need...A What?!

I received my admission packet to the BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing) program today! It's just a bunch of information on clinical compliance, immunizations, background checks, drug screening, and ordering medical equipment and scrubs. I kind of knew the drill.

What I was unaware of, however, was this: "The College of Nursing requires all undergraduate AND Graduate Entry students to have an iPod Touch or compatible mobile device for use in classroom and clinical settings by the beginning of AUTUMN Quarter."

Excuse me?! Uh, shit.

I see this dream is going to be an expensive one.

Well, I just realized my blog isn't a year old until June 15. Damnit. I fail.

One Year Older

Happy Birthday, Blog! You're one year old today. You were born in sadness but today I couldn't be happier.

Let's get drunk because it's my first night of summer!

Nurse Jackie

The show, Nurse Jackie, has been getting a lot of shit from the American Nurses Association. People (nurses) are offended by the "negative" portrayal of nurses on the television show; Jackie abuses drugs and cheats on her husband with a man at work (who is the one giving her the drugs). One concern of the ANA is that "the growing [nursing] shortage is exacerbated by the fact that young men and women are choosing other professions instead of nursing, in part because of the negative and often denigrating portrayal of nursing perpetuated in the media."

So I watched the first episode today. And, you know, I thought it was really well-done. And, hey, I didn't go straight to my nursing adviser to quit the program. Nurse Jackie is a television show that's more about a human being than a nurse. In the first episode, she kind of reminds me of Robin Hood; she feels guilt over a patient who dies, comforts the pregnant girlfriend of that dead guy, flushes an ear down the toilet that belongs to a man who nearly murdered a prostitute (rather than allow them to reattach it), and steals the wealthy earless guy's money to give to the dead guy's pregnant girlfriend. It's fucked up but I like her; she's brilliant and fierce. And not as annoying as Dr. House.

Now, if Showtime had a show portraying Nurse Jackie as this perfect, moral, lovely angel, then I might reconsider nursing as a career...

I Feel Like Crap

I haven't run in a week. And in the past week, my blood sugars have been terrible (and I do mean terrible) and I've been incredibly anxious. I feel like crap right now; mentally, physically and emotionally.

I think my limbs are ready for a really long, fast run tomorrow...

It is my last Saturday night...

...in the Park Hall Penthouse.

It's a sad, sad day.

But nothing Corona and good friends can't fix!

Have a great weekend.

Open Up

Today, I was reading through my old (and really old) blog posts and I realized that lately I haven't been nearly as narcissistic and open as I once was. A year ago (I can't believe this blog will be a year old on June 10), I would openly talk about my feelings and my personal life even when I was at my lowest, at my most angry, at my most depressed. At times when I probably looked like the worst person in the world or at other times, the most pathetic. But it helped me a lot to have a forum where I could be open and honest with myself.

But in the past few weeks, I haven't even attempted to explain what is going on in my life--the really important, emotional, heavy stuff--and I know a part of that is because a number of people close to me (and not that close) have gotten blogs, and whether or not they read my posts at all, I still feel exposed. And a subsection to the reason behind my lack of openness is that, to be truthful (that's a start), I haven't been on my best behavior. So it's kind of frightening for me to put everything out there. I mean, don't get me wrong, a lot of great things are happening to me, too. But still I hesitate to expand on them.

However, my mind's been so jumbled lately because I haven't been writing honestly and, as a result, I've not been able to make sense of some things. And, for me, writing is the only medium through which I feel I can best express myself. I don't really like talking out loud; writing is so much easier. So here's a start...

I never really explained that Adam and I broke up and, although, it's rough I know it's right.

I never talked about bursting into tears at my kitchen counter while reading about a nine-year-old who was blind from diabetes complications.

I never talked about kissing my best friend up here, or going on a date with him, and yet having no idea how I truly feel.

Or continuing to date (no, I should say, string along) another friend here when I didn't return any feelings for him at all.

Or that I'll probably get a B in Anatomy and I'm okay with that.

Or that I want to get another tattoo down my ribs that says, "Every road is a ray of light," because I don't believe in right or wrong decisions; every decision you make is going to lead you somewhere or teach you something that you'll appreciate in the end.

Or that Jody, whose husband of 42 years, Larry, passed away before my birthday, had said Larry was her soulmate and her words make me want to believe in soulmates so badly.

Or that I saw Up and although I didn't like it as much as the other Disney/Pixar movies, Carl and Russel are my favorite duo in history.

I never talked about having a rekindled crush on a crush from high school.

Or that I'm terrified I'm going to hate being a nurse.

Or that I've had the inexplicable urge recently to do something really crazy. Like sky diving...uh, but a little less crazy. I'm still thinking on it.

Okay, that was a pretty half-assed attempt at being honest and open but I do feel a little relieved. This seems like plenty of openness for today. Maybe later I'll get around to forming some cohesive sentences that go together, rather than throwing out this jumble of random thoughts...I'm just going to post this now.

Viva la Vida and Vagina

Coldplay concert tonight!!!!!

Driving to Cincinnati with my roommate, Kelly, for the concert and then driving straight back to Columbus for my Anatomy final exam tomorrow.

I'm going to have to quiz myself throughout the car ride and the night... What is the blood flow to the kidney? What is the flow of pancreatic juice to the duodenum of the small intestine? What is the flow of sperm from the seminiferous tubules?

Nothing like listening to Coldplay and studying the structures of the female reproductive system.

Have a great weekend!

!!!!!!

Over the summer, I have to purchase a stethoscope for nursing school in the fall. And look, I can pick one in any color! I'm so excited to rock my red scrubs and my stethoscope (red or purple?!) next year. And not only to look like a nursing student but to become one, too.

I would like to expand more on how all of this makes me feel...but all I can say is that I feel excitement and anticipation and happiness. Plain and simple. So, actually, I guess it's pretty clear. You don't need any more explanation than that.

I can't fucking wait.