Katydid, the hiatus is over!

Oh, hey again. It's been a while.

A lot has happened in the past three weeks...one day I need to write a post that isn't just a random assortment of Emily life things...

-I hung up Time magazine's cover story on Haiti on the wall above my desk. I put it there so I can always be reminded how extremely, remarkably, unfairly fortunate I am and that it is my duty to help people like the Haitians. And one day I very well will travel to Haiti to help because they're going to be rebuilding for a long, long time.

-I decided yesterday I'm going to apply to work at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis (Disneyland in hospital form) after I graduate, make some money, then travel and nurse around the world. Good plan, huh?

-I had a very exciting day in the hospital last week during my clinical. My patient was a 58-year-old woman (although she looked to be 88) who was usually quiet but her one-liners were hysterical. She was extremely patient with me and willing to help me practice my skills. I inserted a foley catheter (a tube that goes through the urethra into the bladder) while practicing sterile technique (maintaining a sterile field is probably the hardest part). Later that day, I measured, cleaned and packed a wound. I felt like a real nurse.

-I'm obsessed with Vampire Weekend's new CD, Contra.

-We were blessed with 31 beautiful "baby" Tri-Deltas after Rush this year. Recruiting took up about 96.7% of my time over the past two weekends. Glad it's over but well worth it.

-A friend in Delta Sigma Theta, one of the black sororities on campus, asked me to participate on a panel for their program, A Day in the Life of a Diabetic. Along with a Delta Sigma Theta graduate with type 2 diabetes, we answered questions for the women in the sorority. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it. It got me thinking about speaking publicly to more people about type 1 diabetes...

-Still not on the insulin pump although the pump, supplies and insulin are all waiting for me at home. Very frustrating.

-I've sent out half my fundraising letters for my trip to Belize. I'm stamping and sending the next half tomorrow. It's two months away! The first time in my life crossing the borders of the United States.

-I'm going to start writing here as often as I can. I miss this. Well, I miss writing real posts...not this cop-out of a post.

-It is fucking cold outside. The end.

Tidbits of randomness

Randoms...and still nothing about New Orleans...but I will get around to writing about it...one day soon...

-Christmas, celebrated on Christmas Eve, with Mom, Dad, Sarah, Seth, Abby and Alex was nice and relaxing. We saw Avatar in 3D and ate chili and cornbread for dinner before we opened gifts. Sixty dollars to Sephora from Abby and Alex, a knock off Chanel purse from Seth, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist on DVD from Sarah and $350 and assorted books and CDs from Dad. Mom plans to take us shopping for clothes as our gift on Monday. I saw Nine yesterday with Sarah (OMG I love Marion Cotillard) and Sherlock Holmes today with Alex's parents, Alex, Abby, Mom and Dad. I love family and free movies.

-A gynecologist yelled at me about my diabetes earlier this week. He was an older man I'd never met before who clearly didn't understand the differences between type 1 and type 2 diabetes. When I sat down in his office, he blatantly said, "You're not gonna live to be 50 and if you do, it's not gonna be a healthy 50." He also insulted the job done by my endocrinologists, who know far more about diabetes than a gynecologist does. I left his office in tears. My dad jokingly offered to slash his tires.

-My purple insulin pump is here, sitting in a box in the kitchen. Before I can use it, however, I'm to take a "refresher" course at Children's Hospital to relearn how to work it. When I told Trevor how ugly I'm afraid it will look, he responded, "It looks sexy and I love it." But what I'm dreading the most is the onslaught of people who will be asking questions about the device that's attached to me, making my illness even more visible. I hate that I have to wear this thing again....but I will get over it in order to be healthier.

-I have an appointment on Monday at the post office to get my passport. Belize, here I come.

-I need to buy something ridiculously sparkly to wear on New Years Eve. Along with fake eyelashes and those fake gemstones that stick to your skin. I'm 'bout to go all out.

-I'm going to audition for Women's Glee Club at school, if they have space. If not, I'll try out in the spring. This Glee Club does not dance, thank God.

-I probably drank an entire bottle of wine by myself last night and for some reason, I woke up at 7:30 this morning. I need to go back to bed now.

Hello Again Insulin Pump

About a week ago, I decided to go back on the insulin pump. We're beginning the process and I'm really excited. It's been three years since I went off pump therapy and returned to injections. But now I think I'm ready to go back.

Nursing school is making me a better diabetic. Mostly because it's instilling the fear of God in me. During clinical yesterday, I had a 55-year-old patient (who looked 75) with a host of problems, including type 2 diabetes. It's terrifying to see firsthand the complications these patients suffer.

Yesterday was really overwhelming. I cried several times throughout the day without a real reason as to why. I've been having trouble coping with seeing such sick, sad people in the hospital. My patient was incredibly obese, he had been in a hospital bed for over a month after back surgery (so he had developed pressure ulcers on his back), he had osteomyelitis (infection of the bone), MRSA and his right lower leg was blackish-purple (maybe caused by diabetes). He was agitated and rude to the PCA. Although, he was nice to me.

When I see patients like this, I feel haunted by the thought of a life being diminished to nothing but lying immobile in a hospital bed, people constantly feeling sorry for you and being afraid of you. I just kept thinking, "What is this man's life, if anything?"

For the bad moments, however, there are also good moments in the hospital. Such as the 91-year-old who serenaded my other clinical partners and claimed, "They told me to watch out; they put all of the pretty girls in red!"

This has been really hard but I know I can handle it.

Anyway, I should be back on the insulin pump in a month or two. I really can't wait.

I want to worry less about diabetes complications. Oh, and I want to take 12 injections a month rather than 120!

P.S. This is my 200th post!

Bionic Woman

At every three-month endocrinology appointment, my doctor routinely asks if I have considered returning to insulin pump therapy. And I always politely say no.

I remain strongly anti-pump for a couple of reasons:

When I was on the insulin pump two years ago, it just did not work for me. For many people, it helps to improve diabetes control - but I didn't improve at all. Plus, the pump was a bigger hassle than it was worth - door knobs ripping out the tubing, scar tissue build up, allotting an hour of time to numb the injection site, irritating alarms beeping at three AM, disconnecting when showering, etc.

But, by far, my biggest turn off is how terribly conspicuous the insulin pump is. Illustrated by this picture of the continuous glucose monitoring system (the latest "improvement" in pump technology):



The smaller sensor checks your blood sugar every few minutes and relays the information to the pump, which responds accordingly - increasing or decreasing insulin.

It would be cool to, essentially, have an external pancreas that does most of the work for me...but I maintain that I will not go back on the insulin pump while it makes me look and feel like freakin' Bionic Woman.

One day, when the technology is perfected and the device is so discreet that only I can possibly know about it...I would love a sweet bionic pancreas.

"I love your MiniMed in purple!"

I love having a bonding experience with a random stranger when I see that they're wearing an insulin pump.

Sweet jetpack...

1963 Insulin pump vs. 2008 Insulin pump