Halle Berry cured diabetes!

Amazing!

Was she among the thousands of scientists creating an artificial pancreas? Maybe she was one of the researchers manipulating stem cells to form pancreatic beta cells? Or, perhaps, she helped design a drug that utilizes a virus to intentionally infect cells with DNA to carry on insulin production?

Oh, no...her miracle cure is far simpler than any of that: all you have to do is "ween" yourself off of insulin! According to Halle, in this manner, an insulin-dependent diabetic (type 1) can magically transform into a non-insulin-dependent diabetic (type 2).

Holy shit! Why didn't anyone tell me about this before? The doctors said the insulin-producing cells in my pancreas were dead...but, if I follow Halle's expert advice, I can now bring them back to life! And it's as easy as taking less insulin - that useless glucose-absorbing hormone which I don't truly need.

Halle, you may be more attractive than Wilford Brimley, but you're an extremely poor spokeswoman for diabetes - both type 1 or type 2. Please educate yourself.