Which option do you choose when its between being unhappy... or being unhappy?

"Grillin' and chillin' since 2006"

I'm officially a member of the OSU BBQ Qlub. Hell yeah!

"Revenge is fucking sweet"

Watch Jason Statham in "Diabetes" and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

The best video I've ever seen. Thanks, Bear.

4/5/1949

Today, my dad is 60! Can you believe he was born in 1949?!

Happy Birthday, Dad!

P.S. I apologize that I haven't written in a while. I'm taking 20 credit hours this quarter (Anatomy, English, The World of Classical Music, and The Making and Meaning of the American Landscape). Combine that with sorority recruitment, half-marathon training, having a social life, sleeping, and you've got a lack of blog posts. I'll try to write more later!

Celiac's Disease?

After expressing some health concerns--which I considered to be minor--with my endocrinologist, he decided to test me for Celiac's Disease--an autoimmune disorder where the body cannot tolerate gluten (found in wheat, rye and barley products).

The reason being: people with other autoimmune illnesses like type 1 diabetes and hypothyriodism--i.e. me--are more prone to Celiac's. Great.

Waiting for the results from Wednesday's blood test, I've been trying to enjoy my break rather than focus on how incredibly scared and angry I am...

It's not that I would miss bread or chips all that much--because there are gluten-free versions out there (albeit expensive versions)--but what angers me is that Celiac's would be one more thing in my way. One more thing constricting me. Making me worry about simple matters, like going out to a restaurant with friends. And complicated matters, like traveling to foreign places, additional health complications and even my financial stability in the future.

I dream about studying abroad next summer...but do you think there are going to be "gluten-free" products in a third-world country? Or nutrition and ingredient information at all? I'm set to run the half-marathon in May...but I don't know the first thing about which proper foods to eat on a "gluten-free" diet.

I just don't want anything to stop me from doing what I want to do. And I refuse to let it.

But let's hope all of this worry will be for absolutely nothing. And if it does turn out to be something, whatever happens happens. I'll continue to roll with the punches...Keep 'em coming!

It's My Diabetic Anniversary

March 21st was the four year anniversary of my diagnosis! I have lived with juvenile diabetes for four years. It's simultaneously unbelievable and just plain normal.

Tonight I'm celebrating with Brandon, my DFF (Diabetic Friend Forever), and cake!

One day, I hope to be celebrating my four year "un-diabetic" anniversary instead!

"Ignite the tractor beam!"

HAHAHAHAHA

Coldplay is coming to Cincinnati on June 4...

...and I'm going!! Needless to say, I'm fucking stoked.

Has a certain CD ever gotten you through a really difficult time in life? For me, that CD was Coldplay's Viva La Vida. And I figure the best way to thank them is by cheering, screaming, dancing, lip syncing, and enjoying their concert.

I can't decide which concert I'm more excited for...Coldplay or The Killers. Tough decision.

"We say our goodbyes at the gate. Nic says, 'Everything.' I respond, 'Everything.'"

-Beautiful Boy, David Sheff

SAN ANTONIO

HERE I COME!

Razia's Shadow

When I should have been studying for my Rural Sociology final exam, I was instead falling in love with Forgive Durden's Razia's Shadow: A Musical. It's a punk musical album with narration. Or something. Whatever, it's different and I like it.

Watch the music video for "Life is Looking Up" here. It's one of my favorite songs. (If it's a bit slow to upload, give it time!)

A Sun-Drenched Elsewhere

The title of my post comes from a quote by Isabelle Eberhardt, "Now more than ever do I realize that I shall never be content with a sedentary life, and that I shall always be haunted by thoughts of a sun-drenched elsewhere."

The other night, I lay wide awake in my bed, "haunted" by images of my own "sun-drenched elsewhere." From my bed, I was gazing out over Yosemite Valley - the majestic rock faces, the cascading waterfalls, the endlessness - and feeling the sweat and summer sun on my face. Now I can't stop turning the scene over and over in my mind...

Eberhardt's quote scares the shit out of me. Because I feel the exact same way. It sounds crazy and I can't explain it...but this has me imagining an alternate life for myself. One in which I am not a nurse in a hospital. Rather, I am living and working in that beautiful "sun-drenched elsewhere." Perhaps I am trying to preserve it. What if that made me happier? What if I decided to help Mother Nature rather than mothers-to-be? Would that make me a coward or a bad person?

I feel incredibly torn and weird and idiotic but I can't ignore all of these what if's and why not's circling around in my head.

So on a very unusual whim that night, without thinking anything through at all, I applied to summer jobs in all of these places:

• Mount Rainier National Park - Washington
• Isle Royale National Park - Michigan
• Voyageurs National Park - Minnesota
• Mesa Verde National Park - Colorado
• Yellowstone National Park - Wyoming
• Acadia National Park - Maine
• Ace Adventure Center - West Virginia
• Basin Harbor Club - Vermont
• Iroquois Hotel and The Island House - Mackinac Island
  
• Yosemite National Park - California

And my only justification for my strange behavior is yet another quote...this one belonging to Mark Twain:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover."

Violinist in the Metro

I came across this story here. I think it's so poignant but, also, very sad. Keep reading.

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning.

He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace.
He collected $32.
When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it.
No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

A few reasons to be happy...

-In a little over a week, I will be flying to San Antonio to see Adam! I haven't seen him since January 2nd.

-I got the job interview with the Resident Home Corporation. Hopefully, I nail it! I'm nervous.

-I'm getting the opportunity to shadow a Pediatric Occupational Therapist at Cincinnati Children's Hospital over the break. I want to see what it's like--because, right now, I'm considering getting my Master's degree for either Nursing or Occupational Therapy.

-New music: Kelly Clarkson's CD "All I Ever Wanted" and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' CD "It's Blitz!"

-Running seven miles with no problems--other than some minor aches in my knees and hips. I'm right on track for the half-marathon in May!

-Next Thursday, at 1:18 PM, I will officially be done with General Chemistry. Next quarter, I'm taking Introduction to Public Health (for my PH minor), Anatomy, English 110 and Cultural Anthropology. Nineteen credit hours is heavy, but every subject interests me so I don't mind.

-I have gained more strength, I realize, to stand up to people for what I believe. Even when it's a person I love. And when that is the very hardest.

Superheros, Bodybuilders and Beasts

I'm disappointed that this exciting weekend is coming to an end...

Thursday night was Watchmen. I love people-watching. I could entertain myself for hours sitting inside a movie theater before any given midnight show and eating a box of Raisinettes.

Saturday, we had our Tri-Delta Initiation ceremony. I'm no longer a pledge but an active member. But that's not what got me so excited--it was when my parents, and all of the new girls' parents, made a surprise appearance! I was so happy to see them. The three of us had brunch at the sorority house then, as is reunion tradition, we hung out at the bookstore. And I got two more books I do not need. After spending a few hours together, Mom and Dad dropped me off to get ready for the sorority Formal.

This is the part where it gets really exciting. You know when Superman dramatically rips his shirt off at the chest? Well, that was me when I got stuck in my original dress. Yep, I was trapped in that thing after the side zipper completely broke--ten minutes before I was to be picked up for the dance. It wouldn't go down over my hips or up over my chest so I had no other choice but to rip it off in dramatic Superman fashion (not at the chest though). I kicked the shit out of that dress, picked out a better one and went on my way.



Formal had several elements of excitement, such as dancing, singing, chocolate fondu, and tanned bodybuilders. The bodybuilders were competitors in Arnold Schwarzenegger's Sports Expo which was taking place in downtown Columbus this weekend. I spotted a couple in the lobby of the hotel where our dance was being held. I even waved to one. Scary as hell.

The rest of the dance was so much ridiculous fun--my feet are still sore from all the dancing. I've never jumped so high in four-inch heels while singing at the top of my lungs. Damn you, Isley Brothers.



And today, my roommate Kelly and I ventured to the Palace Theatre downtown for Beauty and the Beast. I'd estimate that half the audience members were under four feet, dressed in gowns and crowned with tiaras. It was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen.

...I hate Mondays.

Lily Allen's "Chinese"

(Ignore the "Chinese" coincidence in my last two posts!)

I see you from the sky
And I wonder how long it will take me to get home
I wait for an hour or so at the carousel
I have a cigarette to pass the time
Cause the traffic's hell

I don't want anything more
Than to see your face when you open the door
You'll make me beans on toast and a nice cup of tea
And we'll get a Chinese and watch TV

Tomorrow we'll take the dog for a walk
And in the afternoon then maybe we'll talk
I'll be exhausted so I'll probably sleep
And we'll get a Chinese and watch TV

You wipe the tears from my eye
And you say that all that it takes is a phone call
I cry at the thought of being alone and then
I wonder how long it will take til I'm home again

I don't want anything more
Than to see your face when you open the door
You'll make me beans on toast and a nice cup of tea
And we'll get a Chinese and watch TV

Tomorrow we'll take the dog for a walk
And in the afternoon then maybe we'll talk
I'll be exhausted so I'll probably sleep
And we'll get a Chinese and watch TV

I know it doesn't seem so fair
But I'll send you a postcard when I get there

-Lily Allen, "Chinese"

Aside from the whole beans on toast thing, this song reminds me so much of Adam and I.

I miss him.

M.Ward - Chinese Translation

I've come to realize I have a thing for male musicians with sexy, deep, unique voices. I had a post on Ray LaMontagne a while back. And here is another personal favorite: M. Ward.

Cincinnati Flying Pig Half-Marathon

It's official...I am registered to run my first half-marathon -- the Cincinnati Flying Pig on May 3. And I'm 98% sure I've convinced my sister to do it with me!

All they want is for me to read them

On my bedside table, there is a mountain of books that want desperately to be read (or reread).

The stack has been growing gradually over the past few months because I've been too stubborn to admit that I don't have enough time or energy to read. And I fear I'll forget about them if I shelf them out of my sight. Now they've become a permanent fixture on my desk -- my alarm clock propped atop them...

Persepolis... The Great Gatsby... The Executioner's Song... East of Eden... The Post-Birthday World... The Brain that Changes Itself... Generation Kill... Case Histories...

Every morning when I hit the snooze button...they look at me longingly. It's so sad.

Don't Stop Believin'

I was transporting a patient to Pre-Op in the hospital today when I heard Journey's Don't Stop Believin' blasting from the speakers in OR #19.

That had me smiling to myself for the rest of the day.

T.I.'s Road to Redemption

I've recently started watching the new MTV show Road to Redemption featuring famous rapper T.I. The show is so named because, after being arrested on serious criminal charges in 2007, T.I. was sentenced to complete 1,000 hours of community service in one year (and spend a year in jail)...or serve up to 30 years in jail.

His initiative on the show is so impressive -- his jail time begins next month so he decides that, on his "road to redemption," he will try to intervene in the lives of seven troubled young adults. He is trying to help them turn their lives around by learning from his mistakes.

Here are two parts of the second episode, featuring 15-year-old Trey...
(These are the links because the videos wouldn't embed correctly)

Two Options

Never Thought

My first trip to Texas

Adam bought a plane ticket for me to come visit San Antonio! It's only going to be a short weekend trip--I'll arrive Friday March 20 and leave Monday March 23. But I'm still excited to see him and to get out of Ohio!

The Whitest Kids U Know

I saw these guys, The Whitest Kids U Know, perform live tonight. Pretty effing hilarious.

Congratulations on Yale, Sarah

Yesterday, my big sister got her acceptance letter to Yale's Graduate School for Nursing! She must now choose between Ohio State (with scholarship and fellowship included), Columbia College and Yale University. No pressure.

Regardless of her ultimate choice, I am so incredibly proud of her. I shit you not, my sister has been working her ass off since middle school. She deserves this more than anyone I know. And she is going to make an amazing Nurse Practitioner.

Although...if she chooses to attend Yale, it'll be the farthest apart we've ever been. It feels like my freshman year of high school all over again--we get to spend one year together and then she's off. The eleven hours of separation (as opposed to the two blocks separating us now) scares me a little bit...but I want her to go where she will be the happiest.

When did my sister become a grown up? When did I stop calling her "my sissy" and "Sar Bear"? And, if she's an adult now, how close behind am I?

The week has hardly even started...

And it already sucks.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Spending the holiday with some of my favorites...



Roomie



Je m'appelle Dave. C'est magnifique!



DFF (Diabetic Friend Forever) and Roomie

"A lack of education is equally as dangerous as a lack of insulin"

It's a long ways off...but I have officially decided to apply to volunteer with AYUDA (American Youth Understanding Diabetes Abroad) in the summer of 2010. I've mentioned the organization before--their mission is to educate and help diabetic children in developing Latin American countries.

This summer, I'm going to start fund raising. I'll need to tackle an overwhelming fee of $4,500. Additionally, since my Spanish-speaking skills are absolute garbage, I'm looking into some non-credit classes during next school year.

I'm really really excited to get started. I'll keep everyone updated!

Update:

I Googled "Beauty and the Beast" with "Columbus, Ohio" and, to my surprise and delight, discovered that the Broadway show is coming to the Palace Theatre in March! It took my roommate Kelly and I only about ten minutes to debate, decide and ultimately purchase the tickets.

As Kelly puts it, "we're spontaneous goofs...it's part of our charm."

A Blast to the Past: Beauty and the Beast

I am currently watching Beauty and the Beast in ten parts on YouTube. It is amazing.

Find out what you are or what you aren't

I'm applying for a job with the Resident Home Corporation (RHC) which is an organization that provides living, educational and other support services to people with developmental disabilities in my county. I highly doubt they will want to hire a seasonal employee...but I'm going to send in my resume anyways. Just to see what happens. (By the way, I wrote my first cover letter...it was pretty intimidating.)

As I continue my exhausting search for a summer job, I become more and more opposed to the idea of working a worthless job. Not to knock any occupation out there...but I would much rather do something that's meaningful to what I want to do in the future. Or, on the more negative but still practical flip side, I would rather find out now if I am unable to handle the challenges of helping people and of nursing.

I want to know whether or not I'm strong enough for this.

"Woman Has Failed Driver's Test 771 Times"

In my Rural Sociology class this week, we learned about committing the ecological fallacy - when we generalize, or essentially stereotype, a whole group of people or an entire society based on the attitudes/behaviors of one or few persons.

And when I returned from class today, where I am learning to oppose these common stereotypes, I spotted the above news headline...

A woman. Who is Asian (from Seoul). And she can't drive.

You go, girl. Way to perpetuate the Asian-women-suck-at-driving stereotype! Wow, 771 times? It's a bit harder to dispute this stereotype now after reading the story.

Sorry, women. Really sorry, Asian women.

I need to get a passport

Today, in my cold winter gloominess, I came across this website which lists the 100 Most Beautiful Places in the World. Allegedly. I wouldn't know because I've never even left the United States.

Although I have been to three out of the 100--Yellowstone (#42), Sequoia National Park (#82), and The Golden Gate Bridge/San Francisco Bay (#97)!

Lately, it has become a habit of mine to search for pictures of random beautiful places - places I would much rather be in February than Ohio (and, usually, I'll send my favorite pictures to the boyfriend, just in case he should ever win the lottery!)

So, according to this list, the top ten most beautiful places in the world are:

1) Machu Picchu in Peru



2) Iguazu Waterfalls in Brazil/Argentina



3) The Taj Mahal in India (which is my #1)

4) Pyramids in Egypt



5) Grand Canyon



6) Serengeti park in Tanzania



7) The Nabatean city of Petra in Jordania



8) Great Wall of China

9) Victoria Waterfalls in Zimbabwe/Zambia



10) Great Barrier Coral Reef in Australia



And, coming in at #13 is Niagra Falls...which I really want to visit during my summer break this year.

Tic Tac Orchestra

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

This guy made instruments using Tic Tacs. Yeah, the little candies.

I love that advertisers are having to get more and more creative with their advertisements/commercials in this age of DVR.

The Killers Are Coming!

THE KILLERS ARE COMING TO COLUMBUS ON MAY 5--THE DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY!

I JUST BOUGHT TICKETS! I'M SO SO SO PUMPED!

Snow days have lost their luster

I hate to admit it...but snow days in high school were much more exciting than snow days in college.

Back in high school, a snow day meant that I would not have to wake up at 6:30 in the morning. I could sleep until noon, only to be awoken by the smell of Mom and Dad making bacon and pancakes. I have so many good memories from snow days in high school. I remember, the morning after a bad snow storm last year, all of my friends and I lost a massive snow ball fight to some vicious ten-year-olds. Or the time, on an unexpected snow day during the Pasta for Pennies campaign last February, our entire class banded together--shoveling driveways and such--to raise a whopping $1,000.

In college, it's different. If I had had classes today, I would have woken up at eleven and I would only have had two classes. There is no Mom and Dad...no pancakes, eggs or bacon (unless I want to risk food poisoning by trusting the cafeteria downstairs). I have no snow pants, no snow boots, no heavy duty gloves ideal for snowball-making, and no sled! I mean, there aren't even hills in this city!

I shouldn't be complaining since my three hour Chemistry lab was canceled today, and my roommate Kelly and I have been enjoying a lovely Top Chef marathon. But I think snow days may have finally lost their luster for me.

My 100th post!

I have no appetite and I'm still very feverish after a night of tossing and turning and sweating. What a great way to celebrate my 100th post!

It did make me feel better to visit my favorite site, One Sentence, to get a nice chuckle. Although it makes my head ache to laugh.

Two good stories I read today:

"Shortly after a palliative care nurse suggested Preparation H as a treatment for my weeping induced under-eye bags, my mother, who was dying of cancer, opened her eyes and left me with these parting words of wisdom to sustain me after she died: "Whatever you do, Petunia, do NOT put ass cream on your face."

"After just purchasing a used couch and attempting to pick it up, it's hard to believe the seller when he says the bottle of KY that fell out isn't theirs."

I love one sentence stories! Happy 100!

Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA)

I'm sending in my application today to a summer camp for kids with Muscular Dystrophy. I'm really excited and I hope I get the volunteer position...which is why I'm already applying in January!

I think this kind of experience will truly open my eyes--since I've never worked with children who are so very, very ill before. I want to know that I can handle it.

I've also applied to work at Cincinnati Children's Hospital in the summer, as well...so I hope to hear back about that fairly soon.

Wish me luck!

Inauguration Day 2009

My Sociology teacher released the entire lecture hall early today to watch President Obama's Inauguration at noon.

What was most unbelievable to me was the tremendous crowd--it gave me goosebumps when the news cameras scanned over the entire mall.

I'll never forget what I've witnessed today--a throng of over two million people, representive of every race and religion and background, rallying around our first African-American president. Pretty cool.

Delta Delta Delta ∆∆∆

I am now a Tri-Delta pledge--aka a "Baby Delta!"

Today my temporary "big" sister, Amy, pulled me aside to tell me that she had looked me up after the final Preference Round yesterday, "When I saw that you had an older sister in Alpha Gamma Delta and that their philanthropy was juvenile diabetes, I thought 'We lost her for sure.' But when they read your name off of the list of pledges this morning, I got so excited. I even, like, stood up shouting and I kind of teared up. I had to call my Mom to tell her I'd gotten you! I'm so glad that you're here."

I decided against joining Sarah's sorority because I don't always want to be following in her footsteps. In Alpha Gamma Delta, since my sister is a member, I am what is considered a "legacy," which means I would have automatically been accepted. But I wanted to know that I had done this all on my own...so I made Tri-Delta my first choice. In this way, I know I will become much more independent. My sister is really happy with my decision, too!

Although I was disapponted to turn away from raising money for my own disease, I think it will be really cool to raise money for a new cause--St. Judes Children's Hospital.

I could not be happier with my new sorority. YAY!

The "Bobby" Question

Just a glimpse into the nursing school application I've been stressing over. Here is the third essay question I must answer in 350 words:

"Bobby is an 8-year-old boy with hemophilia. He has developed early acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) from a previous blood transfusion, but he does not know that he has AIDS. His parents have chosen not to tell Bobby that he has AIDS, and do not want any health care provider to tell him either. His parents have gone to great lengths to make certain that Bobby's AIDS diagnosis has been treated and followed under the guise of needing tests or treatments for his hemophilia. In the last year, Bobby has been hospitalized twice for pneumonia and responded well to treatment. Imagine yourself as being his nurse and that you were involved during his last 2 hospitalizations. Bobby is knowledgeable and understands his treatment for hemophilia. He has talked to other kids with hemophilia who have not had any problems with pneumonia. He asks you at his third admission to the hospital for pneumonia if he can talk to you for a few minutes. He says he cannot talk to his parents about this because they will not talk to him. He asks you if he has AIDS.

There is no right or wrong answers in this dilemma. You should write a logical essay that shows your critical thinking about your decision to tell or not to tell Bobby of his diagnosis of AIDS. In your essay, discuss the following points: 1) do you tell Bobby about his diagnosis of AIDS or not; 2) what are the issues and points of conflict; 3) who are the interested parties; 4) what are the consequences; and 5) what are your obligations?"

I've wrestled with both sides - to tell the truth or not to tell the truth - and I have decided I am not going to tell Bobby the truth about his AIDS. That sounds tough...but I have to respect the request made by Bobby's parents. I will encourage Bobby's parents to admit to him that he has AIDS - because, for an eight-year-old, Bobby seems to be a very perceptive and mature kid...telling from his own research into the matter. Perhaps he is entirely capable of handling the diagnosis - better than his parents believe.

I've become so wrapped up in this question that I have to keep reminding myself: Bobby is not real! There is no eight-year-old putting you on the spot, asking you blatantly whether or not he has AIDS. Relax!

"Give me my kidney back"

Are you serious?

I don't understand this at all...How a husband could give the wife he loves his own kidney and, later, while on the verge of divorce, he could demand she give it back (or that he receive $1.5 million dollars)! Chill out. Why is the matter of organs even being discussed? Just, wow.

I've missed you, Bed

I just finished up my first weekend of sorority rush. It started on Saturday from nine to six and ended today (again from nine to six). We met all fourteen sororities briefly yesterday, narrowed our choices down to ten, then visited each house today. Next Saturday, I will visit my top six choices...and finally, make bids on my top three.

Man, oh man. This weekend was a lot of fun but I'm exhausted -- my feet are beat from the combination of consecutive nine hour days baring the elements (sleet, ice, freezing rain, snow) and high heels.

Tomorrow, from nine to 12, I start my new volunteer position at the Medical Center -- this quarter, I'm in Ambulatory (same-day) Surgery. I'm looking forward to my involvement in many a colonoscopy. Super. Immediately after volunteering, I will truck over to my Organic Chem class where I will be taking my first quiz.

I've never appreciated my bed more in my entire life. I'm going to go use it now.

P.S. I, personally, think that it is a miracle I've stayed away from coffee for this long. My plan is to never start drinking it -- I rely on Diet Coke when the day is particularly rough. Let's see how far I make it...

February 1

Less than a month until I submit my application to the Ohio State School of Nursing. Oh, Jesus.

Type 1 Dia-badass

Nothing cheers up a sad girl more than hanging out with a few of her diabetic friends. And planning elaborate pranks on our campers...seven months in advance. Or laughing for ten minutes straight about the time at diabetes camp Rashod had to ride the white horse named Confederate. Is it August yet?

Define Dancing

Ms. Huey and I dropped Adam off at the airport in Columbus today.

When we arrived I thought we would be saying our goodbyes at the drop-off entrance until the woman at the check-in counter asked me unexpectedly, "Would you like to go to the gate with him?" She handed me a pass that would allow me through security and upon seeing the masses of servicemen and women holding hands with girlfriends/wives/boyfriends/husbands at each of the gates, I realized this must be customary. Everyone recognizes you as an Army girlfriend (or wife) and, when you're in the airport at the end of the holidays, you can literally see the pity in their eyes. A young man came up to thank Adam for his service and as he turned to smile politely at me, I could see it. I saw it in the eyes of the burly, pepper-bearded man who spoke of his nephew in the Marines returning from Iraq. Poor girl.

Once we reached the gate I buried my face in Adam's chest, half shielding myself so that no one could see my puffy eyes and half taking in every ounce of that last hug. Neither of us, however, were ready for goodbye yet...so we dragged our feet back to the security checkpoint. I glanced out of a window, hoping to see a huge flight-delaying blizzard building on the horizon. But it never came...and finally it was time to go.

During the car ride back, Ms. Huey kept encouraging me to simply say a prayer. And, for the first time in years and years and years, I actually closed my eyes and whispered to someone. First I apologized for secretly wishing that, on the way to the airport, we might be in an almost harmless but hindering car accident. After that, I judged it was slightly more appropriate to say any sort of a prayer. It did feel kind of nice.

I did not want to see the last two weeks come to an end. I was so unbelievably happy I can't even describe it. Now I'm...I don't know. Empty, I guess. To make myself feel a little better, I've listened to the song "Define Dancing" from the Wall-E soundtrack over a billion times. It's the song that plays during my favorite scene in the movie - when Wall-E and Eve finally "kiss."

Unfortunately, it's becoming kind of tricky to type when I can't control my freaking tear ducts...so I'll write more later.