The other night, I lay wide awake in my bed, "haunted" by images of my own "sun-drenched elsewhere." From my bed, I was gazing out over Yosemite Valley - the majestic rock faces, the cascading waterfalls, the endlessness - and feeling the sweat and summer sun on my face. Now I can't stop turning the scene over and over in my mind...
Eberhardt's quote scares the shit out of me. Because I feel the exact same way. It sounds crazy and I can't explain it...but this has me imagining an alternate life for myself. One in which I am not a nurse in a hospital. Rather, I am living and working in that beautiful "sun-drenched elsewhere." Perhaps I am trying to preserve it. What if that made me happier? What if I decided to help Mother Nature rather than mothers-to-be? Would that make me a coward or a bad person?
I feel incredibly torn and weird and idiotic but I can't ignore all of these what if's and why not's circling around in my head.
So on a very unusual whim that night, without thinking anything through at all, I applied to summer jobs in all of these places:
- Mount Rainier National Park - Washington
- Isle Royale National Park - Michigan
- Voyageurs National Park - Minnesota
- Mesa Verde National Park - Colorado
- Yellowstone National Park - Wyoming
- Acadia National Park - Maine
- Ace Adventure Center - West Virginia
- Basin Harbor Club - Vermont
- Iroquois Hotel and The Island House - Mackinac Island
- Yosemite National Park - California
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover."
6 comments:
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
~Abraham Lincoln
...but I thought this summer was camp counseling...
I have rafted with Ace before (camped too now that I think about it). Love them!
You go girl!
I think you know where I stand on this one;-)
DO IT!
DO IT ALL!
ChemGuy - As far as I know, this summer is still about camp counseling and following my nursing dream. Which I'm still holding on to. But I had a crazy epiphany moment...still don't know what's going to come of it.
Bdubba - I saw the website and I was sold! It looked like so much fun. And I like that WV isn't as far away as Wyoming or California.
Lakes - I want to do it all!! But I feel like I'm all over the place. Shouldn't I know exactly *what* it is I want to do first?
Did any of you guys ever feel this way during/after college??
No...my life can pretty much be summed up by this quote:
"It's a dangerous business... going out of your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to."
Sadly, I've always been content to keep my feet and leave the adventures to those around me...
But if you end up on Mackinac Island, I'll do what I can to come up and visit you.
I don't know anything exactly, much less what I want to be when I grow up!
Live every day like it's your last.
I know it's cliche as hell but it's true.
I'll take the red head Cynthia's advice from Dazed and Confused to the bank:
"If we are all gonna die anyway shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves now? You know, I'd like to quit thinking of the present, like right now, as some minor insignificant preamble to something else."
Says it all. LIVE LIVE LIVE;-)
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