Define Dancing

Ms. Huey and I dropped Adam off at the airport in Columbus today.

When we arrived I thought we would be saying our goodbyes at the drop-off entrance until the woman at the check-in counter asked me unexpectedly, "Would you like to go to the gate with him?" She handed me a pass that would allow me through security and upon seeing the masses of servicemen and women holding hands with girlfriends/wives/boyfriends/husbands at each of the gates, I realized this must be customary. Everyone recognizes you as an Army girlfriend (or wife) and, when you're in the airport at the end of the holidays, you can literally see the pity in their eyes. A young man came up to thank Adam for his service and as he turned to smile politely at me, I could see it. I saw it in the eyes of the burly, pepper-bearded man who spoke of his nephew in the Marines returning from Iraq. Poor girl.

Once we reached the gate I buried my face in Adam's chest, half shielding myself so that no one could see my puffy eyes and half taking in every ounce of that last hug. Neither of us, however, were ready for goodbye yet...so we dragged our feet back to the security checkpoint. I glanced out of a window, hoping to see a huge flight-delaying blizzard building on the horizon. But it never came...and finally it was time to go.

During the car ride back, Ms. Huey kept encouraging me to simply say a prayer. And, for the first time in years and years and years, I actually closed my eyes and whispered to someone. First I apologized for secretly wishing that, on the way to the airport, we might be in an almost harmless but hindering car accident. After that, I judged it was slightly more appropriate to say any sort of a prayer. It did feel kind of nice.

I did not want to see the last two weeks come to an end. I was so unbelievably happy I can't even describe it. Now I'm...I don't know. Empty, I guess. To make myself feel a little better, I've listened to the song "Define Dancing" from the Wall-E soundtrack over a billion times. It's the song that plays during my favorite scene in the movie - when Wall-E and Eve finally "kiss."

Unfortunately, it's becoming kind of tricky to type when I can't control my freaking tear ducts...so I'll write more later.