Uncle Ned

Uncle Ned is coming to Cincinnati today! As you can probably tell, I'm very very excited. Uncle Ned lives in San Francisco and he probably leads the most exciting and carefree life I could ever imagine. He never married, although he came close, but, most disappointing of all, he never had children. Despite the fact that I hardly get to see him, Uncle Ned has always been that cool second Dad to me (and he totally makes up for all of the relatives I don't have). Ned is really great with kids, always able to recount entertaining facts and stories. Like teaching me the root Latin words for many English and Spanish words. Or the story of the couple that tried to shoot him while he was hitchhiking. Luckily, he managed to escape by dodging through the trees and later turned the two of them in. True story!

When I was younger, he would teach me different words in Spanish and Portuguese, two languages he spoke fluently. I remember he was once engaged to a beautiful Brazilian woman named Simone. However, and I'm not sure why, they never got married. That story always makes me sad. But Uncle Ned is a true bachelor at the age of 56. One time I walked into his house to find a hammock slung in the middle of the room.

Uncle Ned is also extremely smart, with the ability to calculate any numbers you throw at him. Right down to the repeating decimals. He's a human calculator. But best of all, Uncle Ned is an amazing chef. The man can honestly cook. Last summer he came to stay with us, he made this delicious pasta dish with sausage and artichokes...God, it was heavenly. He also taught my mom and I to keep the skins on the potatoes before mashing them and now I absolutely wouldn't eat mashed potatoes any other way.

I truly love spending time with my Uncle Ned. I envy how adventurous he is and that his lifestyle allows him to be. He is a shipbuilder so he usually recieves nice, long vacations when there are no ships in need of repairs. And he's an avid swimmer. He would tell me stories of swimming in the bay at extremely cold temperatures. He even pans for gold! One summer, he took all of us and I remember being so young and excited, hopeful that I would discover a fist-sized nugget. He is an artist, as well. He used to send Sarah and I paintings, some of women or of gardens. All very beautiful.

I think my all-time favorite story of Uncle Ned is perhaps one I was too young to even remember. But it still makes me laugh whenever my Dad retells it. When Sarah and I were younger we loved exploring Uncle Ned's house but were dismayed that he wouldn't let us enter the backyard. Later Dad asked Uncle Ned what had been wrong to which he responded, "I didn't want the girls to see my marijuana growing in the backyard." See what I mean? The definition of cool.