What Have I Learned? Nothing, so far

I just deleted a hundred or so pictures from my computer. (It has been moving at a snails pace lately which has been really pissing me off. Even though all I ever do on the computer is check e-mail, get on Facebook or download songs on iTunes...which is never all that urgent or productive.) But it was kind of sad. To delete those snapshot moments from my life. Granted, my photo albums only stretch back to Summer '06...but that is a significant portion of my life! Preparing to go away to college is forcing me more and more to reminisce on the last four years. I decided I needed to reflect on my high school career and see what I've learned (if anything)...

Freshman Year
My two best friends and I parted ways. One friend went to private, all-girls school. The other moved to a new, rivalry school district with her mother. I was BFF-less to start off my freshman year. Fortunately, I had my sister, who was a senior at the time. I looked up to her; beautiful, Homecoming Queen, straight-A student, aced her AP and IB exams. I didn't have such a great track record...I was a pretty average student. I had a hatred for science and math (Wow...look where I've ended up!) I'll never ever forget the Homecoming dance that year. I was planning on going with a quiet, shy boy who had had a crush on me for a while. However, him and I being super awkward, we didn't really plan...or speak to each other prior to the dance. So I arrived at the dance, date-less (and wearing the same pink dress of a girl whose flirtatious boyfriend creeped me out in Spanish class). Luckily, another boy I liked came to my rescue and I declared him to be my "replacement" date. We were having a great time when...Date #1 showed up unexpectedly and terribly late. The three of us stood on the dance floor in an awkward triangle...which is hilarious now that I look back on it. (It seems that I have a knack for getting involved in love triangles! Still.) Here's the thing...before Spring Break that year, the thing you would think would be the most devestating high school experience happened to me: I was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. However, I think I only cried a grand total of once. It really felt like nothing compared to the devestation at the end of my senior year...but we'll get to that later. At the end of the year, after ending the on-and-off-and-on-again dating of Homecoming Date #2, I started working on a science project with the valedictorian of our class, a cute Indian boy (#1)...

Sophomore Year
The cute valedictorian and I started dating. We had our AP European History class together (and there was another overlooked but still cute Indian boy in the class who will show up later in my life...) That year I probably made the best decision in high school when I joined the staff of the school newspaper Odin's Word. I didn't know it at the time but I was going to make friends with some amazing people. I also made the decision to become a better student (and I've been a straight-A nerd ever since). I had switched from soccer to waterpolo...and I would switch sports yet again the following year. Unfortunately, the senior Chief-Editor of Odin's and I started, well, some weird relationship that still gives me the creeps. I didn't really like him all that much but I was a dumb sophomore (as my old newspaper advisor would declare!) (Another mistake I see and lesson I failed to learn.) Oh, and I can't forget...the story of Macbeth! To recieve extra credit in English class, a friend and I went to see the school's play Macbeth. I didn't really follow along with the convoluted Shakespearean language (although William S. would appear again in my life soon enough, much to my dismay) but I was intently focused on the junior who played Macbeth. He was very talented and very sexy, all brooding and murderous. During intermission, I decided to write him an anonymous StarGram from his "Secret Admirer." Of course my identity was revealed. A few months later, Macbeth would come to my door with a rose (and guess what...I was dating Homecoming Date #2 at the time).

Junior Year
I joined the small Cross Country team. Remember the cute Indian boy from AP Euro class (not the valedictorian)? Well, he was a senior member on the team...and I hated his guts. I had been a witness over the summer as he briefly dated one my friends and treated her like crap. During the season, we generally ignored each other (of course, we didn't really get any opportunities to talk since he was 6'2 with legs that moved at a speed ten times that of mine). However, on a rainy Saturday, huddled under the tiny Cross Country tent, my hatred melted away a little bit (I mean, who could blame me? He was good-looking, funny and together we listened to music on his iPod.) At the time, I was kind of dating (not necessarily liking) a big football jock who had parties at his house every weekend. It was at his party one weekend that I finally met a boy who would appear later in my life (See: Love Triangle, Senior Year). He told me that he had liked me ever since he saw me freshman year and I would never fully let go of him. Well, needless to say, the big football jock and I ended (not on the best terms) after an awkward Homecoming dance where I tried desperately to avoid him. (Ah, another lesson I seem to not have picked up...I still have a tendency to selfishly hurt people's feelings) Anyways, I forgot all about the jock as well as boy with the long-term crush on me and I focused on the cute Indian boy #2 (or I guess I should say, #1/2 since he was only half Indian). On Thanksgiving (there seems to be a holiday motif in our relationship: lost our virginities on St. Patick's Day, broke up and got back together on Veteran's Day), we became a couple with a funny (and foreboding, now that I think of it!) little nickname...Adam and E.V. (Do you recall how Eve ate the damn apple when God specifically said not to, thus fucking everything up?)

Senior Year
The cute Indian boy #1/2 went off to college an hour and a half away but we continued to date. Everything looked good. I would drive up on the weekends to visit him and when I went I got to see my older sister as well. That year I went to the Homecoming dance with a guy friend who wore a top hat...which was a lot of fun (way better than my freshman and junior dances). I was happy to be nominated for Homecoming Court although I didn't follow in my sister's footsteps to nab the crown. I entered my second grueling year of International Baccalaureate classes (think AP classes on crack) still maintaining straight-A's and trying to improve the GPA I sabotaged during my freshman year. (I hope you didn't forget about William Shakespeare because I thought I was rid of him but he returned with avengeance...literally...Hamlet and Othello seriously beat some deceitful ass). I applied to several colleges in my parent's price range and was later accepted to my first choice. Things began to take a turn for the worst, however, toward the end of the year. Well, you see, the cute Indian boy #1/2 I had fallen in love with, he had been planning to join the military for a long time. The thoughts of it made me miserable and resentful...so I ruined everything. I ate the fucking apple. Remember the boy with the (now, extra) long-term crush on me? And my penchant for Love Triangles (I've counted a total of three so far)? Two weeks before my Senior Prom, I cheated on my boyfriend with the crusher (fitting title, I know). Approximately one month after it happened, I confessed the truth to my (sorta ex) boyfriend. And to make matters worse, last night, I told the crusher that I was not over my ex. So now I'm just caught up in a Hate Triangle. Or no, take out the tria- from triangle and add a si- as in single. That's me, all alone. There is no geometric shape to represent me, just one little vertex (come to think of it, there is no shape with only two vertices either...)

So did I learn anything? It doesn't look like it. But I know that eventually I will learn life's important lessons...even if I have to make a hundred mistakes first.